Guns (and stuff)...

Since this is the blog that I created and my only point to posting is to vent, rant, or cyber-whimper, I think I'm going to sit here on a Friday night and go on about something I care deeply about. Guns. No politics. No 2nd amendment bullshit. Just flowery words that smell like Hoppes No. 9 and thoughts that flow like grain through a funnel.

I have a family member attending an auction tomorrow that's up in the UP and there's a remote possibility that I might add a few guns to my collection. Now, I won't hold my breath because I rarely get treats like that without much work or consternation on my part. I have a few friends that might disagree considering that they were present when I purchased a trunk full of firearms from a distant cousin for much, much less than their combined value. Sun was shining on me that day. Out of that collection I obtained a Remington Mle 1907-15. Look the sucker up. See how rare they are. No serial number. They were made for the French and most never saw action. Jokes about the French aside, many of the rifles never made it to action as the war ended prior to their delivery. And I had the bayonet to go with it. 'Had' as in I sold the bugger to buy my Bushmaster 223. Not much regret there as it was 8mm Lebel and not safe to shoot, though it was in great shape. I'm not a collector insomuch as I'm a shooter. Big difference IMHO.

I also acquired a Colt Lighting that day and regrettably sold it for next to nothing. I weep over that from time to time.

At this auction they're parting with a German Mauser 98 (already have one though it was bored for .308), an Arisaka Type 38, an Eddystone, and a Savage 720 in 16 gauge. They have others but my eyes are on these ones. I don't need another Remington 870 or a dumper like the Woodsmaster 742.

I haven't bought anything since my M1 Carbine and I'm hoping to score tomorrow. I told my 'in' to go as high as $200 each. I know that's low. I'm cheap when it comes to something I don't need. But for $200, if I scored even one of them, say the Savage, whew. I could profit on that one though I doubt I'd sell it. I didn't start off a shotgun fan but I have a few that I have a fondness for. I have two Ithaca 37's and one is a military & police style that's Parkerized and runs a short barrel. It's mean looking. And it's close so if someone read my inventory here and found out where the man lived, yea. Not recommended. '00' at close range can't be pretty and I'm a mean enough MF 'r to do it. Then I'd take some photos prior to the cops showing up and I'd post them online. :)

Any ways- I kind of appreciate the shotgun now and their history. I would very much like to acquire a WWI era Winchester 97 trench shotgun, if anything. Other than that, my knowledge and experience mostly lies with rifles and military rifles at that. Russian, German, US. And in the past handful of years, these other countries dumped their obsolete arsenals on the market and created a huge demand for milsurp rifles. But not the US. They have only lightened their load via the CMP and certainly not all that they have. So either the US government has stock piles of rifles and pistols and shotguns somewhere or they've done and sold them all to other countries for them to shoot it out with their enemies. And since no other country has flooded the market with firearms they purchased from the US (the Danish actually returned M1 Garand's to the Army that they borrowed during WWII instead of pretending like they lost them) then I can only believe that the US govt has them yet or they melted them all down.

And nothing fires me up more than mass firearm destruction. People are so stupid that they'll destroy firearms before selling them to honest and law-abiding citizens that may have an interest in them. Because, yea, you burned up 5,000 guns and now 5,000 criminals are without weapons of choice. If I ever go postal it'll be with a hammer or something everyday-like and I'll stamp every crime scene with a sign that reads 'I could have used a gun, but I chose to go with a circular saw'. Because anything is a weapon. Guns are simply convenient because flesh doesn't jam them up like it does to the circular saw......... not that I know or anything.

Music Review Numero Uno

I'm thinking of starting my own music reviews. Three categories: hummability- If I don't know the words, how good do I still sound if I just make shit up or hum to the song? Infectiousness- is the album still in my head long after the last note dies out but not so long to the point that I want to kill myself. Youtubeness- how easy is it to find videos from the album, legit or otherwise, on Youtube. Each category is ranked 1-5. Total possible is 15.

Lately I can't stop listening to By The Way by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. This album came out sometime around 2002, so I'm archiving here. But from the very first track, this album rocks. I want to get out of my chair and dance around the room, kicking shit over, air guitaring, the whole thing. My favorite tracks are By the Way, Can't Stop, This Is The Place, Dosed, I Could Die For You.

I'm driving around in my 4-door Buick listening to this album cranked and while sitting at a stop light the other day some college kid (car next to me) asked me what I was listening to and said that it rocked. So yea, embarrassing for that kid to ask some old fart like me what music I'm cranking.

So on the Hummability, about a 4. There's a few songs where the pitch changes unexpectedly and I immediately sound like Britney Spears lip-synching at the MTV Music Awards. Infectiousness- total 5. I hear some of these songs in my sleep. Anthony Kiedis's talent is just amazing. He can go from funk to ballad to rock and never miss a beat. Youtubeness- I can find almost every song represented. Kudos to the copyright infringers out there. The legit videos are great because the band has a sense of humor and appear to just fuck off for the camera. The By The Way video is especially sweet. 5

Way to go RHCP, 14 points. Another worthless rating system from someone that has no influence on the music industry.

Barack Obama's 10 Point Plan

I was reading my NRA magazine and found an article about Obama's Ten Point Plan to 'change' the 2nd amendment. My point for posting this is not to spread the message, because I won't be a tool for the NRA. I can be my own tool, thank you very much.

My question here is for those that I know to be more knowledgeable in politics than I. Is this stuff NRA propaganda or what? Top ten:

1. ban the use of firearms for home self-defense
2. pass federal laws eliminating your right to carry
3. ban the manufacture, sale and possession of handguns
4. close down 90% of the guns shops in America
5. ban rifle ammo commonly used for hunting the sport shooting
6. increase federal taxes on guns and ammo by 500%
7. restore voting rights for 5 million criminals including those who have been convicted of using a gun to commit a violent crime
8. expand the Clinton semi-auto ban to include millions more firearms
9. mandate a govt-issued license to purchase a firearm
10. appoint judges to the U.S. Supreme Court and Federal Judiciary who share his views on the 2nd Amendment

Now, there are others reporting on this. Ben Smith has an article on it. I had to Google it to find it on the NRA website because they didn't exactly make it easy to find.

So, what gives? Obama has really made the claims listed in the top ten list or the NRA is loosely interpreting his actions and his position? I do know that the guy isn't pro-2nd Amendment, neither was Hillary. But I wouldn't vote for some dipshit simply because he promises to leave my firearm collection alone. I could call the NRA and ask them to explain this more to me but I can't stand sitting on hold for 20 minutes listening to their automated system ask me to donate more money for the next major crisis. I support the basic tenets of the NRA, but they're a political machine that employs propaganda like every other group so I don't trust them 100%. I wouldn't trust them to hold my shotgun while I tied my bootlace, so to speak. I'd no doubt get my gun back but my wallet would curiously come up missing from my back pocket.

There's my rant for Sunday.

Embarrassingly Yellow Moments in History

What a title, huh? Just what does it mean? It refers to cowardice, folks. There's a reason that cowards are referred to as 'yeller'. It matches the piss running down their legs as their bladders prove themselves unworthy under duress. These great moments in testicular abandonment are what I'm writing about. But I won't write long. I want to see what other people think are noteworthy episodes in the milksoppy annals of tail-turning pantywaists.

Now, back in 1943 Stalin had enough of the cowards in his ranks and issued Order 227, which read 'Panic makers and cowards must be liquidated on the spot. Not one step backward without orders from higher headquarters!' I love the term 'liquidated'. We won't stop you. We won't kill you. We'll LIQUIDATE you. Now that's messy. (Leave it to Stalin.)

So, come on. What are some events in history that stand out as the most cowardly acts one has ever seen? And I mean INDIVIDUAL acts of cowardice. Not Sept 11. Not WWII death camps. I want to know about situations where one person fell to the ground in a fetal position, sucked his thumb, cried out to mommy, and his failure to manage his emotions led to 5,000 Mongols to invade his village. I want to gnash my teeth at stories like that part in Shaving Ryan's Privates where the one,... oh wait, different movie. Saving Private Ryan. That one. Where the coward falls on the steps while his buddy gets shivved on the second floor.

So let's have it? Anyone?

What a dick.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1827416

I tried embedding this video but it ran too far to the right. So click the link.

What the f**k?

My first post in several days was going to be about cultural (r)evolution. But that topic is now going to be pushed back to make way for a few other topics that I find to be less mentally taxing. And since I have only 2 or 3 readers, and since I'm still determining the direction I want to take with this blog, and since I'm still on my first beer of the evening,... where was I going with this?

Oh yea. For starters, I just read in the paper how a woman shoplifted from the local mall, pepper-sprayed a security guard to make good her escape (with her sister in tow) and then she hid in a trash compactor while her sister hid in another location with the stolen goods. Guess what? Yea. Someone turned on the compactor, not knowing that someone had ignored all of the posted warning signs, and delivered 10 gazillion pounds of karma down onto the shoplifter. She's dead. For less than $500 of children's clothing, she's dead.

In other news, I've been contemplating lately about how Barack Obama strikes me as a possible contender for the role of Antichrist. I mean, the Antichrist is supposed to be born of a single mother, supposed to be an eloquent speaker, and supposed to lead a nation. So I Google'd it. Hell yea I did. It would seem that there are others thinking the same thing that I am. Check this out:

http://www.barackobamaantichrist.blogspot.com/

http://o.bamapost.com/

http://www.topix.com/forum/state/ok/T6LC6ESI3S0DET45G

OK- don't check 'em out. Really. Don't. The point is, there are others out there finding some connection there. Kinda makes ya wonder, huh? No? Well then talk amongst yourselves while I get another beer....................................................

Tonight's yummy goodness comes compliments of Newcastle Brown Ale, a well regarded drink of mine. I'm pleased to see that the beverage appears in the latest issue of Beer magazine. I just discovered this publication and they have a great display of hot women and beer throughout. What else could a guy ask for? Well, nudity would be cool. You could call the magazine Boobs 'n Barley. But I digress.

Anyone watch the Comedy Central roast of Bob Saget? Uh,... yea,.... that'd be me. I admit it. Well, I only caught the last 40 minutes. But this is what I know: Norm MacDonald is still a stupid, talentless fuck. Gilbert Gottfried, as nappy as he is, can crack a good joke. Cloris Leachman is freakin' funny! She talked about screwing a donkey and holy crap, she was the best. And good ole Bob Saget is one foul-mouthed fella.

Couple of questions- is it ok to be mean in your blog? To ruthlessly talk about and degrade strangers? To pick on people and emotionally harass them without their knowledge?
Let me know. That would make for one fun blog.

And question two: I'm a writer. No shit. Despite what this blog looks like, I do have the ability to join words into a sentence and have them provide some meaning. I see all these people posting their original work on their blogs and I have to wonder how safe that is. What if someone steals your shit? Is my stuff worth stealing? You bet. So should I be worried or just start posting snippets from my latest work?

And does anyone truly care? In the immortal words of Pink Floyd, 'is anybody out there'? I might go play The Wall on vinyl tonight. Nothing matches the ecstasy of a great album being played on vinyl. Well,... ok, that's debatable but I'll stand by those words.

Going for another beer. Wish me luck.

A Slow Day in MediaLand

So.
Gas prices still suck.
American soldiers are still fighting in foreign countries.
We have a presidential race going on and I STILL don't know who stands for what and just when I think I know, someone flip-flops.
And the most important story of the day is that some 'ugly' little girl was slighted by having her song lipsynched by a 'pretty' girl at the Olympics. This story is about:
A. A cruel lesson in life that the 'ugly' girl would learn sooner or later.
B. The same old fucked up priorities of the world's Media Machine.
C. A slow news day.
D. A slow blog day for me.

So when I want to know what the world news is, and not sugar-coated crap from lackeys, where do I go? Do I follow the millions to Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert? Fox Network, the fair and balanced people? Where? I'm another lost American, unsure of what to believe and where to listen and who to turn to. It's a time of crisis for me. Because, you see, I'm too stupid to separate fact from fiction, truth from lie. I go with what I hear and what I read and the Media Machine KNOWS this! They have the inside track on me.

Really, what other option do I have? Listen to my gut? Oh hell no. Form my own opinions from half-assed data that's been manipulated for my consumption? Uh uh. I could get online and research websites and track data and attend rallies and do some in-depth interviews but then I'd be an informed citizen and I'd be responsible for my knowledge. No thanks. Too much work involved, no fun.

So I guess I'll just wait for the HBO movie about Lin and Yang to come out, exposing the entire story about the lipsynching and all of that. Sorry for the rambling.

Despair and Demotivators (Plug for website)

If you haven't been to www.despair.com then you have to go check it out. Be sure to watch the videos (hilarious) and scan through the Demotivators. Pessimism never looked finer.

Fat prisoners,...

I received a link this morning to a news story about a prisoner on death row claiming that he's too fat to be executed. Here.

I have to admit to not being too sympathetic to the needs or conditions of prisoners. Actually, I believe that they should have no rights as citizens. When you commit a crime against someone you should forfeit your rights. I'm not suggesting that we take away TV's and weights and books, all those things that enable them to occupy their time and vent, but they shouldn't be allowed to have some of the rights afforded to them.

So, in this case, prisoner Cooey's public defender is claiming that his weight will counteract the injection drug and his death will be excruciating. Oh, sorry. Any more excruciating than the rape and murder of the two young women he's imprisoned for? Frankly, I don't give a crap if his death is as long, as painful, and as humiliating as what his victims experienced.

When I was stationed in Japan the Marine Corps had to lock the base gates every time there was a public hanging because Marines would make their way to the executions and take pictures. Now, I wouldn't be there with my digital camera securing images for future relishment, but I do wonder if bringing public hangings back would correct some of our more wayward citizens. Brutal or not, a public hanging brings with it shame and humiliation for the condemned and it sends a resounding note to the public.

It might not be the answer, but it's sure better than letting prisoners sit in their cells eating Ho Ho's by the crate, now that they know being fat is a defense.

Favorite Movies

We're almost moved in now and as I passed my bar I noticed a pile of VHS tapes (remember those?) sitting on the bartop. So,... I wondered, 'should I even keep those?' As I skimmed through them I wondered what was worth keeping. If these VHS tapes are simply decent movies, then why keep them? Among the tapes are; The Cowboys, In The Name of The Father, Unforgiven, Kelly's Heroes- good stuff! I can probably get rid of the unwatched copy of Miracle on 34th Street but my spaghetti westerns have to stay put until I get them on DVD. Some movies are just worth keeping even if I don't watch them for a while. For example; Full Metal Jacket, Snatch, all Clint Eastwood's- except for maybe White Hunter, Black Heart and Pink Cadillac.

There are classics and then there are CLASSICS. Apocolypse Now's opening scene with 'The End' by The Doors playing and the napalm strike is just cinematic phenomena. I'll keep that DVD forever.
Cool Hand Luke- awesome. I watch it every time it comes on TV.
Se7en. A perfect combination of lighting, madness, and casting.
Twelve Monkeys. Terry Gilliam is a genius and this movie proves it.

Come to think of it, Brad Pitt is in many of my favorite movies. Man love for Brad Pitt? Huh.